This just isn't working....

I feel like such a failure! An entire summer gone, a full three months, and all I have to show for it is one painting and one poem; both of which are so pathetic, i'm ashamed to show it. My mother suggests that it may be because i'm stressed out, but what is a writer or artist that can't work under pressure, right?

On top of this is the horrible, inexplicable sense of dread that has been growing steadily for who knows how long. I'm sick of being afraid! I can't tell anyone because I have no explanation to give. Tell someone of fear without a solid cause, and they'll brush it off as far too insignificant, childish, and a waste of time.

Meteor shower tonight....I so dearly wanted to see it! But ofcourse, just my luck, the sky is far too cloudy to be able to even catch a glimpse of one of the many, many meteors that are supposed to be zooming across the sky tonight. I'm so frustrated, I could strangle something!
As immature as this may sound...It isn't fair!

"Only fear fear itself." If only that were possible. One is always limited by human weaknesses. I'm no exception, unfortunately. Fear, hesitation, insecurity...such things are immortal. There is no way to be rid of them. I wonder how others live so peacefully with such things hanging over them (I'm assuming that others experience problems similar to me). I wish I knew their secret.